2022.01.27 02:35 Lil_Puggy HS: Junior Year, Dilemma - Initiating conversations with an Introvert
So, me (M17) likes a girl (M16), who is also a Junior, but more on the introverted side. She went to my middle school, but I didn’t know her until this year. We sat next to each other in English class(first period) for S1, and had class for History in Period 5. Around a month and a half into the year, I took notice of her and began talking to her (mainly texting). I, myself, am an extrovert and a 4.0+ student, while she’s mostly quiet and shy. We began texting daily around October-December. Literally, everyday, afterschool to the end of the day. It was great and all, and although she didn’t text AS much or elaborated much, she seemed interested in the conversations and all.
But, around November-December, I began noticing that I was always taking the initiative, ALWAYS texting first and always bringing up topics to talk about, always going that extra mile. Yet, she didn’t do much. Even in a friendship, there must be 2 sides of it in order to work, and I felt like I was putting in 95% of the work while she inputted 5% or so. That got me mood changes where I would be happy, then sad because I doubted myself since I ALWAYS initiated everything, then happy and all. It really affected me.
So, in December, a Thursday before Winter Break, we got into a “crush” topic and got into it, such as her previous crushes, what she thought about relationships, etc. But one thing she said got to me a lot. Now, I’m not a jealous person, or I try not to be, but she said smth along the lines that “she usually got approached by guys while she did nothing, and then developed a crush on them.” That got to me because I felt like I was one of them, just throwing myself out there without her doing anything. SO, I expressed myself on Saturday about how I felt and what was going on in this friendship. I may have “attacked her”, but only saying that she never texted first or anything. It was a long text, but either way, I ended up apologizing after she responded, her saying that she’s not one to text first and all.
We got back to being normal and texting everyday a few days after, after not talking for a day or 2. Anyways, after we got back into school, I noticed I was falling into the same trend again of initiating everything, and it started affecting me even MORE. So, I decided to not take the initiative for a whole week after the first week, hoping she would text me first or smth. Turned out, she NEVER texted me during that whole week. Not a single time. So, I expressed myself again, but not attacking her. Instead, I told her how me taking the initiative was affecting me, and i had to stop doing so most of the time. She said that it was okay and it was good for me to take care of my mental health.
Ever since that, a few days later, i texted her and she seemed to continue the conversation a bit more, unlike before. So, it seems like it kinda got to her what i told her. Now, idk if she sees me as a friend or actually cares about what I think.
So, 2 weeks later, now, i still like her. I’m constantly thinking of her, but i once again stopped taking the initiative this week and she hasn’t texted me. I don’t know what to do. I plan on confessing eventually. That part I don’t have a problem with. The only reason why I haven’t done so is because she hasn’t given me a reason to do so. I really need help. Idk if I should move on or keep on trying:,(
submitted by Lil_Puggy to Crushes [link] [comments]
2022.01.27 02:35 WooShy132 I need some help with some of the lore
I’ve been a TOP fan since 2012 and I’ve followed them ever since. Unfortunately, as a result of branching out into other bands, I’ve forgotten so much story/lore.
My memory gets a little fuzzy around Trench and now SAI. I’m having trouble understanding who Clancy is, what DEMA is and the Bishops I have no clue about. I also am confused about why on my Trench CD the new logo is on the side (The one that looks like a pitchfork almost). Also there was the weird live stream thing and I pretty much need somebody to explain it to me. I feel so embarrassed as I used to me an expert 😔
submitted by WooShy132 to twentyonepilots [link] [comments]
2022.01.27 02:35 TheSouthEnder With the Sun in Our Eyes - Chapter 20
Lucas - Remind Me To Forget | Previous Chapter 19
There I was standing at the airport. Tears streamed down my eyes towards the entrance where Mateo had exited. I was so distraught by all the events that had played out. This had never been my intention. But yet here I was. I felt fear, I felt shame, I felt guilt. Mateo confessed his love for me, and I loved him with my heart, but I couldn't stay. I felt so lost and confused. The two identities in my mind were constantly at war. I didn't even know who I was anymore. I felt so lost. Was I really making the right choice?
I kept it a secret, but I was terrorized by images of losing Mateo in my dreams. It was almost like the universe told me we were soulmates always destined to end in tragedy. It didn't make any logical sense to me, but I could never remain if I was the problem. What if something else were to happen to him because of me? I would never be able to forgive myself. I loved him with all my heart, but I had no choice but to let him go. Even if it destroyed me, at least he could be happy. Onlookers gave me sympathetic gazes as I simply broke down in tears. Was I making the right choice?
This is the best course of action...
My conscience spoke to me, and I agreed with it. This was the only solution I could come up with. I'd be with Madison and make my parents happy, and Mateo, he could finally...
If you leave now... you'll always regret it...
My intuition interjected. But even if I did regret it, what other choice did I have? Could I truly ever make Mateo happy? What if there was someone better for him? Someone who could accept himself and love Mateo fully? Maybe even Ricardo? The idea broke my heart. But it couldn't be me. We simply weren't meant to be.
As I became consumed by these thoughts, I received a notification on my phone and glanced down. My eyes instantly flooded again, and I felt a sharp pain in my heart. Mateo had made me a playlist too. I let out a small distressed whimper as I opened up the playlist. As I listened to the first song, I felt my heart shatter into million pieces. I loved Mateo so much it hurt me to the core. I bet he thought I didn't love him and that he wished I could have lied to him. But I didn't need to lie. I loved him with every fiber of my being.
I took a deep breath and played the next song in my playlist. I noticed the pattern. He picked out sad songs because those were always my favorites.
It never fades away, it's staying Your kiss like broken glass on my skin And all the greatest loves end in violence It's tearing up my voice, left in silence
If only I had enough time to run one final simulation in my mind and see how our futures would play out. Did we really have any sort of future together? Could we really make this work? I stared off into the ceiling, hoping that I had enough time. Some way to discern if I was making the right choice.
"Señor? Ultima llamada." One of the passenger agents tapped on my shoulder. It was the last call to board the airplane. I nodded as I stared back towards the entrance. If he returned just one more time, I'd have no willpower to leave. But I had broken his heart, and he wouldn't come back.
Having no time for any other options, I stuck with my choice. I was Luke, and I had to return to New York to my previous life to marry Madison. I passed through the terminal as the last passenger to board the flight. I thought of my moments back with Mateo as I listened to the rest of the song.
'Cause baby, it hit so hard, I'm holding on to my chest Maybe you left your mark, reminding me to forget It doesn't matter where you are, you can keep my regret Baby, I got these scars, reminding me to forget
I placed my luggage in the head cabin and sat next to the window. And that's where I saw Mateo looking towards the front of the airport entrance. Was he waiting for me? Was he still hoping that I'd come running back to him? More and more tears cascaded. I hurt him in ways I had never intended to. I could never forgive myself for this. As much as I tried to hold back from sobbing, I simply couldn't.
The passenger beside me tried to console me, but I was inconsolable. I tried to silence my pained whimpers as much as I could. How could I ever forget Mateo? It would simply be impossible. He carved his very essence and soul into mine, and my heart was his. He was the center of my universe, my Sun. He was my everything, and it was him, only him and no one else. But this wasn't like one of those sappy movies where I just abruptly leave and rush over to him. We simply couldn't be.
In a few minutes, the airplane revved up and moved towards the runway, and after more minutes, we departed. I cried myself to sleep, hoping that this was just a long nightmare. But it wasn't. I had already arrived back in New York by the time I awoke. As I descended through the escalator, I was greeted by the chauffeur, who took me home.
Returning back to where I had here, I felt defeated. Everything was as orderly and controlled as I remembered. It was a bleak world of whiteness and conformity where even color seemed nonexistent. I realized now how much I had missed color itself, its vibrancy. The lights here were cold, clinical and I no longer felt the warmth of the Sun. I entered my room, but it no longer felt like mine. I was not entirely Luke anymore. Mateo had changed me for the better. I released tears as I thought more about him. It was only after she barged in that I realized my mistake.
"Son, why are you crying?" My mother reached in behind me, turning me around. With her typical white lab coat on, she grasped my cheeks tightly, wiping away the tears. "You know how much that upsets me. Remember what I taught you. You shouldn't be crying."
Just turn it off...
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, turning off my emotions, just like she had taught me.
"There you go. Just like that." Her hands roamed along my back. "Now, go to your father's office. He has your medication for you."
I reopened my eyes, letting go of my emotions. "Yes, mother," I responded as I left towards my father's office. I knocked only once per his preference, waiting to be called in before opening the door.
"You may come in." He answered.
The room was just as I remembered it. Everything in his environment was perfectly controlled. To the white vases and white-colored plants in the corner, to his white desk and computer. There was no color here. He blended in perfectly, with his white-framed glasses, his lab coat, and just about any other item of clothing on him.
"How was your trip, son?" He asked, paying close attention to my facial expressions and body language. "I conceded your desire to study abroad. I hope you learned some valuable lessons about this world." His voice was deep but not overly stern. He was methodical in his word choice, never saying or revealing too much about his intentions.
"You were right about the world." Those were the words I knew he wanted to hear, so I gave them to him. I could almost make out the hint of a smile as he readjusted his frames with a finger.
"Yes, humans can be quite disappointing, can't they?" He brought out my medicine bottle and placed it in front of me. "I want you to continue your medication, Luke. You know how important it is for your mother and me that you stay the course. We expect great things from you."
"Yes, father." I grabbed the medication and returned to my room. As soon as I closed the door, my breathing became heavier and heavier. I felt a panic attack, and I no longer had Mateo to calm me down. I stared at my phone. I couldn't live like this anymore. I just wanted to scream, to cry, to explode. But I couldn't, not here, not with my parents. And so I opened the playlist Mateo gave me. I just needed to listen to one last final song before I would let him go forever.
And so I played the next song in my playlist. As soon as I heard the opening lines, I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in. I ran the shower to dull out the noises of my suffering. Would I ever be truly able to get over this? I just wanted Mateo to have a better life. To find someone who could give them what I never could. I listened to the song countless times, and I always felt a sharp pain during the bridge.
I just wonder what you're dreaming of When you sleep and smile so comfortable I just wish that I could give you that That look that's perfectly un-sad
Sometimes, all I think about is you Late nights in the middle of June Heat waves been faking me out Heat waves been faking me out
I jumped in the shower and let the waterfall of drops wash away my tears. I felt so utterly broken. I only had one choice. After washing up, I returned to my room and held my father's medication. If I took it, I knew exactly what it would do. But feeling nothing seemed so much better than the mental anguish I was going through. I still wondered if I had made the right choice, but now it was too late to change it.
I reached for my phone and deleted every photo, every video, any method Mateo could utilize to contact me. I lowered my phone and opened the bottle. As I swallowed my medication, my memory of color seemed to fade away entirely, along with my heartbreak towards Mateo. I started to feel a sensation I had almost forgotten— nothingness. This was the price I was to pay for hurting him.
Mateo left his mark, and I would never forget him. But I had no other choice. I hope one day he can forgive me. Because I will never stop hating myself for this.
submitted by TheSouthEnder to GayShortStories [link] [comments]
2022.01.27 02:35 XxRedAlpha101xX [Xbox] H: Radioactive barrel plan W: caps or bloodied explosive 3 star fixers or handmades.
2022.01.27 02:35 PsychedelicMention "psilocybin" in /r/todayilearned: TIL: psilocybin isn’t actually what makes you trip. Your body strips it of a molecule and becomes psilocyn, which is the molecule that makes you trip as it attaches to the same receptors as serotonin
|submitted by PsychedelicMention to PsychedelicMentions [link] [comments]|
2022.01.27 02:35 kindamovie Car nerf idea (sorr of)
Less of a nerf more of a rework.
The idea is that instead of just being able to pick up a light or heavy mag and it giving the same amount of ammo to both types, it would give more ammo to the respected type and the mag would act like a mag 1 tier below to the other ammo type.
So for instance, a purple heavy mag will act like a regular purple magazine, but to light ammo it will act as a blue maggazine. A grey heavy mag will act like a grey mag to heavy ammo, but the light ammo will get no increased ammo, and a gold mag just wont auto reload the opposite ammo type but still act like a purple when it comes to capacity.
This is kind of a nerf but i just feel like it would at more flavor to the car so instead of just picking up whatever, you actually have to choose which ammo you’ll be using more and think it out.
submitted by kindamovie to apexlegends [link] [comments]
2022.01.27 02:35 Plenty_Butterfly_342 Suggestion?
So I just watched mat pats video on the backrooms I feel like he should react to nickcowleys (please correct me if I miss spelled that) video on the back rooms and add his own ideas to it
submitted by Plenty_Butterfly_342 to GameTheorists [link] [comments]
2022.01.27 02:35 mgarciaq94 NFT Collection: Meet Milo CockerSpaniel Arts (read comments)
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2022.01.27 02:35 Th3birdman15 Everything Wrong With CinemaSins: Venom: Let There Be Carnage
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2022.01.27 02:35 MomentUnusual6513 Recruiting Cannibals for Official Servers!!!
18+ LFG Even though this post may seem serious or aggressive, I would like to first state we are all friendly adults who are just trying to have the most fun possible playing the game, while also following a few rules. THE RULES Consists of things like being a reasonable, friendly, adult, as in 1.Racism of any kind is not tolerated 2.Harassing anyone in Game OR Discord will result us reporting you (as we do not condone it) 3.Never trying to hurt someone feelings verbally. (as in game salt is inevitable in any game)
HOW GROUP IS RUN 1.Never cannibalize those in the Discord with us, but we do kill everyone else, regardless of species. 2.I am not the ultimate leader, we are a group, everything is a vote but we all must follow majority. 3.In rare cases, if we are carnivores, little ones may be sacrificed for the larger ones to live. 4.We do not help other people that are NOT ne voice chat, we only help our own kind.
Many may consider us "Mean ButtHeads" & will put US on a blacklist, That group we "Cannibalized" MIGHT recognize you and be hostile. the better this group preforms, the more infamous we all become. My main goal is to create and organize a group of people willing dominate official servers & kill anything not in the Discord Voice Chat we are in, skill is not a requirement, but listening & following group majority vote is.
We do not yell are people who do bad, its a game, its all for fun, we have girls & guys regularly playing with us, all are welcome!
submitted by MomentUnusual6513 to theisle [link] [comments]
2022.01.27 02:35 josh7alc I have well over 15 vacation homes done yet I still don’t have access to pillars and island counters
2022.01.27 02:35 UnitedPatriot65 Virgin speaking to the manager vs Chad punching the manager.
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2022.01.27 02:35 andre_corsi Year of the Tiger Chinese New Year Cake DeFi promo 🍰🏮🐯 Receive +8 DFI for free, adding up to regular welcome bonus after successful KYC and first deposit of at least 50$. HURRY UP! 🍰🤑 (Valid from 05:00 UTC on January 27, 2022 to 23:59 UTC on February 10, 2022)
|submitted by andre_corsi to airdrops [link] [comments]|
2022.01.27 02:35 LoveMangaBuddy Read Marry my husband - Chapter 18 - TrueManga
“Please cut me some slack, okay? People who live need to live. You’re going to die anyway.….” In front of me, who was sentenced to a time limit, my only friend cried sadly. I died in my husband’s hands without even meeting the time limit. And “Jiwon, lunch time is over!” Ten years ago, I woke up from my company. Another life given after death. To change fate, someone has to enter my destiny instea ... Read Marry my husband - Chapter 18 - TrueManga. Read more at https://truemanga.com/marry-my-husband/chapter-18
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2022.01.27 02:35 yellowheartedgirl tw: SH and Suicide,,I’m an alcoholic following in my dads footsteps and it’s giving me anger issues i didn’t have before
Hi so i am 21(f)and i drank when i was a teen mostly stuff stolen from gas stations and never really drank drank but recently i’ve been drinking drinking. I turned 21 in march of last year and since then i’ve been drinking every day. And just within the last month of drinking i have gotten so angry whenever i drink. Last night and tonight have been the worst that’s what is urging me to post this. So last night i screamed my lungs out and kept smacking my phone against the top of my head because i couldn’t sleep to the normal podcast i go to sleep with. And tonight i scratched my neck in about a dollar coin(US) size and there’s no more skin. My dad used to abuse me when he would get drunk when i was very small we have made up since then and he has sincerley apologized but i feel all anger, only towards my self and i want to hurt myself i cut from ages 12-19 and i want to relapse bc when i drink i just fucking hate myself. I am drunk right now using this as a coping mechanism to calm myself down by talking fucking shit on myself. But i know everyone will say just stop drinking but i don’t want to. I am just so hateful of myself i am so mad at myself when i’m drunk that i want to kms . Please don’t report because i need advice maybe or maybe not i dont know just don’t fucking say it like that. Because that’s the obvious answer. but drinking is the only thing that helps me cope with my depression. Writing this with my iphone seven pissed off so much that i chucked it across the room because it was lagging. I need help
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2022.01.27 02:35 thirstarchon I was really proud of the letter I wrote to my family to come out, but I don't think they'll appreciate it or understand me, so sharing here instead.
[I first started working on this letter a few months ago because I didn't know how to come out. On Saturday, I told my brother I had something I wanted to show him, and asked if he wanted to see it before or after we went on a hike together. He got worried and kept asking what was wrong and called me, so I came out over the phone instead. Although his response was initially supportive, he begged me not to tell our parents. Now he is worried that I am traumatized and confused. It seems he is in denial. I never got to show him my letter, and I don't want to anymore because I'm afraid he will just pick it apart.
He said I can never tell my parents. That this would break them and affect their health. So here I am instead.]
Dad, you encouraged me to write.
Mom, you tell me to be happy and healthy.
[Bro], you said you would never give up on me.
This is the hardest thing I have ever had to write. To tell you who I am. I have struggled, for years, to be taken seriously by you. I love you and I know you love me. I know you want the best for me. I appreciate everything you have done, but I do struggle to open up to you. I don’t know how you’ll react. You taught me to be honest, and so I will be honest now.
For a long time, I wondered who I was. I felt like I was just latching on to the interests of the people around me. I felt like everyone had received a guidebook of social etiquette, and that somehow I had missed the memo. [Brother] has likened me, affectionately, to an alien that tries its best to mimic human behavior.
Growing up, I was acutely aware of gender roles and an expectation to perform femininity. After years of raising a son, you were excited to welcome a daughter. I was swaddled in pink and suppressed with social norms. How to sit, how to speak, how to dress.
I fought back, denouncing statements that I perceived as sexism, rejecting shorts above the knee and dresses and pink, before eventually trying on what was expected of me. And maybe it was enjoyable, in a sense, to put on a costume and feel accepted, like I was doing the “right thing.” But still, I would close my eyes as I brushed my teeth in front of the mirror, sit with the boys at lunch, and feel at home with them.
It was difficult to disentangle my feelings of resentment. Although many women are frustrated by sexism, misogyny, and the patriarchy, most do not respond to such feelings by wishing they were men. For years, I wished and wondered and lamented, and then begrudgingly resigned myself to my fate until I realized life could be different. I was the frog at the bottom of a well, looking up into a tiny circle of sky. I was a bird that didn’t dare to spread its wings because it didn’t know that it could fly.
Mom, do you remember when I told you I thought boobs were pointless, and that they were unnecessary sacks of fat? Do you remember how infrequently I wore bras and slouched to hide my breasts? I did not want them to be seen. I wanted to forget that they were even there.
Dad, you named me 丹 after 王丹. I was proud to be named after a Chinese revolutionary, and both intrigued and delighted to be named after a man. Wang itself means king, and I took pride in that as well - specifically that it meant king, and not queen or royalty.
[Bro], when I changed my display name to “Reginald” on Gmail, you asked me why I didn’t choose a feminine name, and I didn’t have an answer for that. You call me Reggie and Reg, and it feels more right than [deadname] ever did.
A few months ago, I cut my hair and got new glasses. I bought a chest binder, and am trying to undo years of poor posture. I shopped in the men’s section for the first time, and was so excited to be who I want to be. It’s incredible, in a sense, that all I had to do was see myself as a man to love the person in the mirror so much more.
I told my new friends in [city]. It’s easier when the stakes are low, when I can simply stay away if they react poorly. But for you, my family, I was scared. I’m sorry it took so long for me to tell you. I wanted to do it right. I want you to believe me, and to know that I’m still me, just happier and more comfortable.
Dad always liked to say, “You’re better lucky than good.” And now I am lucky. My name is Felix, and it means luck.
I am a trans man, your son and brother.
submitted by thirstarchon to lgbt [link] [comments]
2022.01.27 02:35 MisterAskMeAnything9 PLEASE HELP!
So I get a notification that my account is being suspicious and to verify my phone number. Which I try to do; I put in my phone number, then press submit. Next it sends me the code, but the page REFRESHES automatically and now I have to enter my phone number again. I tried a few times to no avail. Please help me, I really need to access this account.
submitted by MisterAskMeAnything9 to discordapp [link] [comments]
2022.01.27 02:35 jaelwelch Binance Sg Referral
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2022.01.27 02:35 fishandchipsky Champs that aren’t super well known for offense but still have their uses?
I’ll go first. Mojo. Awesome defensive boss, with surprising offensive utility.
Bypasses nodes like Mystic Ward (he only needs champs with limited duration buffs)
(Once awakened) Does require ramp up, but most of the prompts fit into a normal playstyle pretty well.
Inversely-scaled regen makes him sustainable at lower health
Passive degen damage, good for debuff immune nodes/shruggers (also Mr Sinister)
With MD, he is a great 6.2.6 Champion counter and in general can spam sp2s on buff-heavy matchups
Demolishes certain lanes in Variant 5
Fun to play as! Chonky boi go brrrrr
submitted by fishandchipsky to ContestOfChampions [link] [comments]
2022.01.27 02:35 IMannoel6 Ef
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2022.01.27 02:35 VeterinarianPublic80 What's the grossed thing on your partners body that you are disgusted by but would never say it out loud?
2022.01.27 02:35 CaptainJules11 Phone screens are slightly rainbow with my new glasses?
I just picked up my new glasses today & I noticed when I look at my phone screen (I have yet to test it on a computer screen) the letters are slightly rainbow. It gets worse if I hold it at arms length, even slightly blurry. I got different lenses than I normally do. And the receipt shows they are anti reflective and there’s a uv perfection on it. I got them from Target. Does anyone know if this is normal or should I bring them back?
submitted by CaptainJules11 to optometry [link] [comments]
2022.01.27 02:35 beatboy1975 Lush - For Love (1992)
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2022.01.27 02:35 terraria87 Rich Roll
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2022.01.27 02:35 davidwholt Coppa Italia Turismo - Two teams enter with two Audi RS 3 LMS each